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Posted by Fatuitous @ Thu Jul 21, 2011 1:53 am
I didn’t have to sign my soul over to the Devil. I could also shake his hand, participate in an animal sacrifice, have it sucked out of my eyes, whatever struck my fancy really. Some people had taken to romanticizing the relinquishing of their souls and that lot usually had some grand ideas about how the whole thing would work. Customer satisfaction means giving people what they want. Hell wasn’t going to step on any toes considering the image problem they’d been struggling with for several thousand years.
My own personal demon consultant had happily explained this to me in his second story office in one of the high-rise commercial buildings Satan had rented out in my city. The demons set up outside the mall and around Wal-Mart entrances mostly attracted Goth kids and a special kind of suicidal losers. I’d never felt like pushing through that crowd. But coming home one day I’d discovered a rolled up flyer kept in place between my doorknob and door frame. It had promised a no-pressure, one-on-one consultation with a no-nonsense demon. I probably wouldn’t have gone if not for the $15 Pizza Hut certificate awaiting first time visitors.
My demon introduced himself as Twayne Boneraper, but I recognized that as being a reference to the late night cartoon Ugly Americans. Certainly there were some chilling similarities. I laughed and asked where his horns were. He laughed and asked if I had a small penis (I’m Asian). I wanted to be more suspicious, but it’s hard not to trust another adult who watches the same cartoons as you.
I took the chair he offered and looked around the room. A nameplate on the desk suggested that I had just met one Dan, no last name was provided. Dan sat facing me in his desk, a warm smile on his face. Behind him there was a poster of Marilyn Manson between two tall windows. Given the professional look and feel of the rest of the office, I was almost sure the poster was hung in irony. On one side of the small room a row of filing cabinets made a surface all across the left wall for some generic family pictures and unfamiliar degrees and certifications. On the other side of the room sat a cheap, but chic, Ikea bookcase containing such titles as: The End of Privacy, The Book on the Taboo Against Knowing Oneself, some books on the brain and human consciousness, at least one book on secular Buddhism, and at least one title on the “sovereignty of the individual.” I don’t know if I would have been more or less surprised to find a blood-encrusted Necronomicon amid a pile of other grimoires.
Dan gave me about a full minute to examine the room. I’m sure he’d come to expect curiosity from walk-ins like myself. When I’d finally settled my attention on the books he asked if I had read any.
“There’s not a single one I wouldn’t recommend to a stranger on the street,” he said almost grimly, nodding towards his collection.
“I’ve heard of a few of them,” I said, my voice trailed off a bit and hinting at the hundred other things I’d like to have said. “Honestly, I’m not sure I’m in the right place. From the looks of it you don’t believe in the soul I’m trying to sell.”
He laughed his friendly laugh. “Being a demon doesn’t excuse me from acknowledging the true nature of consciousness. And acknowledging the true nature of consciousness doesn’t preclude me from lusting after your soul.”
I nodded.
“This is the epoch of a new age of human understanding, and that’s exactly why we’ve chosen now to go public and begin bargaining for souls.”
Dumbstruck, I let him continue.
“You strike me as being a thoughtful man, so no doubt you’ve heard some of the concepts contained in those books over there. You no doubt understand that your brain is not just some tool used by your ego or self, but in fact the whole of your ego, self, or consciousness. As you pass from moment to moment, the whole of that subjective experience occurs physically within your brain. While thinking about taxes the brain is in a physically different state of being than it is while you are listening to me and considering my words. Every experience and change in experience, every thought and change in thought, every belief and change in belief, your conscious state from moment to moment – these are all the result of a physical change in your brain.”
“In that case you can’t have my soul,” I said, almost squeaked. “Nothing can be worth giving up what you’ve described.”
“We’re not brain snatchers friend,” his laugh, which had at first put me at ease, was beginning to sound condescending. “We just want your soul. You will not be physically altered in any way. Your brain will continue performing the biological task of maintaining your consciousness and sense of self. The soul does not contribute to the physical processes occurring in your brain that make you you.”
“I… won’t even notice then?”
“You won’t even notice.”

Comments(2) :: More >> what

Posted by point and laugh @ Sun Mar 13, 2011 1:51 pm
Alright, so... I think that I got everything all functional and shit. (If there's something I forgot, I'll go look at it.

Now, I just need to know what forums I should put up.
I, for whatever reason, am drawing a complete blank as to how I should categorize everything, so I don't really know what specific forums to put up.
Any ideas would help.

Comments(8) :: More >> Forums

  New Forums
Posted by point and laugh @ Wed Feb 23, 2011 8:26 pm
I added the socializing category to the forum, which I think is a decent place to start with new posts.
However, all posting is currently locked until I specify the rules and stuff related to posting. For most other categories I won't really care, but I'd like to essential put down that I don't want people to be dicks and stuff.

For the two currently up, I'm not going to assign a new moderator; I'm leaving that task to myself and Roach. For the others I'll probably put Justin or Greg in charge, considering that they're the only two people other than me and Roach that have been on recently.

Comments(8) :: More >> New Forums

  User ranks
Posted by point and laugh @ Wed Feb 23, 2011 2:53 pm
I've deleted all old ranks, and set up a new temporary system:

  • I, Tyler Wilcox, am the Administrator, which essentially means I'm God.
  • Zachary Roach is the Head Moderator, and will have mod powers over all forums on the site.
  • All users with at least one post are members.

As the forum grows and we start to get more categories and forums, I will appoint new moderators and supra-moderators.
In the future I will also add personalized ranks for some individuals, generic ranks denoting post counts, and hilarious ranks for times when I feel like it.

However, that will happen at a future time. For the present, you will just have to live with things the way they are.

Comments(1) :: More >> User ranks

Posted by point and laugh @ Tue Feb 22, 2011 11:38 pm
After previewing all of the styles and potential backgrounds, I have decided that this particular style has the most calm and inviting mood. Because that's the particular environment that I'm aiming for, I'm planning on sticking with this scheme.

If you have any problems, you can post them in this thread or pm me.

Comments(13) :: More >> Style/Color-Scheme

  Status Update
Posted by point and laugh @ Tue Feb 22, 2011 11:15 pm
As you probably know, I am attempting to revitalize this forum.
I have deleted all spam accounts, and nearly all of the posts that were previously on the forum. (I will finish up the rest of them soon enough.)

I am currently working on improving the aesthetics and the layout. I will let everybody know any updates as they occur.

Comments(1) :: More >> Status Update


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